If I die tonight, I want the world to understand that I wasn’t ready. That I fought against the odds, even when they were me. The battle was fierce, it was bloody. I won the battle, but not the war. I would say, “I pray the LORD my soul you take” but am at my lowest and its all dark down here, no light to guide me, to give me hope.

With tears running down my face and blood draining from me, my smile would fade off into the darkness and I’d say, “hello darkness my dear old friend.” The melancholic music in the background would give me a peace unfound and as I fade off, my life would flash before my eyes. My achievements would try to raise me but my failures would drown me. I would smile at the memories and cry at the most beautiful ones.

My eulogy having been written by me, would be read out for the world to hear. I would in my final moments, speak of the world as a place so unfair to its own kind. How human interaction is a set standard that people have to follow, how being oneself is overrated because no one will really accept you. How envious those that are to be proud of you always are. How in a minute the world would turn its back on you like you never existed. I would ask all of you that wished me dead to throw a party in my memory, to get drunk and speak highly of me, then when you really get carried away, speak ill of me despite being of the dead.

……Some glad morning when this life is over, I’ll fly away. And till we meet again, you’ll be haunted by the ghost of me. You’ll hear of death and I’ll appear in your thoughts, you’ll hear someone laugh and you’ll remember how jovial you always saw me. You’ll hear a silent sob and you’ll wish you had wiped the tears away and sometimes, you’ll hate that you were the reason I cried myself into the abyss. Yes, I stared too long into it and it stared right back at me.