Having done well in her O levels, you’d have expected her parents to have sent her off to college, but instead, they’d had her stay home just to look after her siblings. It wasn’t at this time that Sandra finally knew her worth, or found her voice. No, instead, it was at this time that the emotional abuse really dug its claws.

Sandra lived much like a teenager, treated like a child but expected to act like an adult. Minutes after curfew resulted in verbal abuse; Chores done wrong, food a little extra salty, or maybe a bit overcooked, unfinished laundry, spilt beverages, all of them small mistakes, always called for a night of tears. The name calling never got old, in fact, it got kicked up a notch.

Her best friends were used to her drama. The late night calls that tried to explain why uncooked matumbo rendered her without a bed for the night, or how walking home with her church mates turned her into a whore. Sometimes it was the five minutes past curfew that made her homeless. Or the stress from work that made Sandra the trash bag.

In a manner, there was only so little Sandra could hold on to because even the knots were wearing off. The irony was in the fact she could never really pick a painful way to end it citing that the pain she had gone through was enough and if she ever left, it should be peaceful. It was a sad truth that cut to the core.

Surviving was never her matra for the day, hers was always holding on long enough to find peace in the end. The pills never worked though, and in moments like this, her belief in a celestial super power always increased.

There were days she almost believed it would get better but then there were months she missed her periods and there were decisions she made that changed her life. It was hard doing it but she really had no choice because standing up meant losing the little she had. So, face down and screams later, she walked out with a new sprint. I’d like to believe all Sandra found was the church because her faith was so broken she could never see past the tears, never listen beyond the whys.

Sandra threw herslef into servitude to try and redeem her sins, to maybe feel worthy whenever she partook of the holy communion. She joined praise and worship because she heard God loved music, she joined sunday school teaching because Jesus loved little children, and for a minute there, it all worked out. God even gave her a lover.

Tayern was supposedly a best friend to Sandra’s love interest. But when he walked into her life, it felt like the universe had finally seen its creation and decided to gift it. Tayern gave Sandra wings, taught her how to fly then showed her the world. When she fell, she fell so hard the ground whispered ‘ouch’. And when he left💔, he took away all the sun and the beauty it spread.

Tayern was the love interest any woman could ever want. He always had the right things to say. He gave her reasom to live. Showed her all the ways to smile, made her the center of his world.